Thread: a comment in a newspaper

I was reading a column in a newpaper (on the web) and found it hilarious, but then I read the readers comment on the column and found this from one reader.

Labour’s manifesto

1: – Legally binding targets to totally eliminate democracy.
2: – UK ‘residents’ [as UK citizens no longer exist] required to prove they AREN’T potential paedophiles.
New ’self-assessment’ laws to compel people to declare that they’re NOT a threat to children under 25.
3: – National awareness day to remind ourselves of the evil of how the Tories turned Britain away from terminal 60s & 70s Labour bankrupcy – giving Labour the economic legacy that Labour sprayed against the wall.
4: – Chidren from the age 4 years to be given the vote – ballot boxes to be installed at Sure-Start centres around Britain.
5: – Business to be relentlessly legislated against – driving ALL of them overseas – jobs replaced by Labour’s continuing campaign to generate an autonomous NON wealth creating micro economy – each of us compelled to charge each other due to Labour’s phalanx of regulation, restrictions, paranoia, H&E, No-Win-No-Fee and Human rights laws.
(jazmines is going to love that one)
6: – ANYONE living next to households containing children under 25 MUST submit themselves to criminal records check.
7: – Gardeners banned from operating powered lawnmowers – ONLY qualified and trained [£75 3 month government course] persons able to do this task.
8: – IF an mugger injures his fist on YOUR face – YOU WILL BE LIABLE TO PROSECUTION – no exceptions.
9: – Parents of children under 25 MUST have CCTV cameras installed in each room in order to safeguard against potential parental abuse.
10: – Labour MPs and ilk to be given PROPER legally binding exemptions for ANY legislation they expect us to abide by.
11: – Doors on the homes of Tory voters to be painted with a red cross to warn decent people that they’re in danger of coming into contact with taxpaying democrats.
12: – Speed limits to be progressively lowered until reaching optimum maximum of 15 mph.
13: – New cars to be fitted with their own speed camera – each time speed limit is breached the camera sends an automatic fine to the driver’s house.
14: – Equality legislation to be introduced BANNING any airline from discriminating against totally blind pilots.
15: – British victims will be prosecuted for xenophobia if they ask police to prosecute alleged foreign criminals.
16: – New born babies MUST be Christened with a name that contains the letters EU.
17: – State police to be regularly tested on their ability to patronise, prosecute the generally law abiding, and ignore calls claiming that a crime is being committed.
18: – Political job opportunites to be further increased – Every county to have its own Parliament – with MPs and extra tax raising powers. This is to protect job the prospects of Labour ilk in case the Scots are ejected from the Union in an English referendum and we’re forced to leave the EU in order to survive.

I did hear that the youth of Britain were feeling disadvantaged in that they have to wait until the age of 16 when the Spanish kids have an age of consent of only 13. UK youth party were thinking of taking it to the court of human rights saying that the law breached equality legislation.

On a similar subject: Despite the lower age of consent in Spain has anyone noticed a greater incidence of teenage pregnancy in Spain? I haven't, in fact there seem to be far fewer teenaged mums here.

this could be because your average British teenager is so intent on getting drunk, stoned, high or all three that the basics of birth control are lost.... or it's a case of "WTF... now I'll get child benefit..hey maybe I'll have another"

I recall reading a story about a twenty something girl who intended to get pregnant as often as possible to become a burden to the government as she thought they gave her a rough deal when she was 15. The laws says no-one can stop her, she is entitled to all legimate benefits and she has a legal representative to ensure she gets all that is available.

oh yes..she is pregnat agin with her 7th child...the others have been taken into care

That sounds about right. She is probably so illiterate that her commie equal opportunities social-worker has to fill in all the claim forms for her (some other commie social worker has probably told her that if someone fills in the form for her she can't be held to blame if the claim is incorrect or false because like, y'know, she din't no wot she was signing cos she cudn't read like, y'know, wiv her eyes cos she's got this rare eye condition, y'know) Unless of course she is a Brummie, in which case replace all instances of 'like' with 'loik.'

[QUOTE=dunmovin;13988The laws says no-one can stop her, she is entitled to all legimate benefits and she has a legal representative to ensure she gets all that is available.
[/QUOTE]

Although presumably, if she isn't married these are more in the way of illegitimate benefits! Boooom! Boooom! as Basil would have said